i remember when i was 5 i used to take dancing lessons and there was this kid in 7th grade who’d make fun of me and call me “gay” but the jokes on him because i gave his younger cousin a handjob at camp so who’s gay now
i think you’re still technically gay
TODAY IN THEATRE HISTORY: A musical with puppets as the main characters? It may sound crazy, but today in 2003, the PG-13-rated musical Avenue Q opens at the Golden Theatre. It will go on to run for 2,534 performances on Broadway, and win the 2004 Tony Award for Best Musical. One month after its final Broadway performance, the production will re-open Off-Broadway at New World Stages.
*white kid from 90’s tv show on bed throwing baseball up in the air and catching it while staring at ceiling*
cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas
me: you said i got one phone call
My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms 23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed
the fuck kind of romeo and juliet is this
Bless that one person in every group that is like “keep going, I’m listening” and encourages you to finish your story even when everyone else is talking over you.
BLESS THAT PERSON SO HARD.
I try so hard to be that person.
*sunlight hits your laptop screen*
every piece of dust in the world
*tries to sing along to song im listening to for the first time*
sometimes i think i’m sassy and then i realize i’m just too sarcastic and borderline mean